The best day / Zen Jokes

I woke up at 6 30 am after an incredibly long perfect awesome day and rode my bike to work to start it all over again. It was the best day, yesterday, and since I only slept for 3 hours, I feel like it hasn't ended. I caught a big fish, I played music on the street, I played music on the radio, I spent time with my best friends and I saw nice looking dresses that affirmed the beauty of the season and the Wisconsin-ite leg. I realized that I don't need sleep as along as I stay high from my perfect life. Gotta get high, so tired... no time.
Did you ever hear about Bodhidharma? He was the most bad ass man to ever live. He was a monk that walked to China from India. When he got to a Shaolin temple, he went inside and kicked everybody ass then he came back out and sat down and decided to stare at a wall until he found enlightenment. He got tired once, ONCE...but then he just cut off his eyelids so he couldn't fall asleep. Then he created Zen Buddhism. He also looked like this:

There is this old story about a monk who asks when seeing a painting of him, "Why does that fellow have not a beard?"
It's an old zen joke, they are so hilarious, that if you get it, you become enlightened. They are called Koans, and it is a question or parable designed to make the dual mind fold over on itself and be whole again. It destroys perception of reality and the ego, but generally they are all silly so I just call them jokes. Like "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" or "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound," or "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" The answer to these questions is a phrase called "Mu" which can't be translated, but it kinda means, "un-ask the question." you can't just go around saying "Mu" if you are being quizzed in zen school and expect an A plus, it is just an answer that you have to understand. I would hate to go to a zen school, they sound like assholes. It's your first day, you are confused about where your robe goes, so you ask the teacher. The correct answer would be to bop you on the head with a stick and then you become enlightened. MU. The teacher ask you a question like "what is 2 plus 2?" and if you say 4, you get a bop on the head with a stick. The correct answer might be something like, "the sky is very blue today."

Here's one, "Does a COW have a Buddha nature?" Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Some more hilarious zen jokes here...hahahahah yuk yuk yuk.


I looked at my calendar and on June 7th, after I get done with work, I will finally be able to sleep.