miles

There is a math problem that is on my mind. I need some help figuring it out. Ok. So. If you take your left hand off of your mouse (or right hand if you so chose to mouz with) and put your index finger tip on the mouse pad and your middle finger tip on the mouse pad and make a little running guy with two arms on one side and one arm thumb on the other side and running guy is polite so he tucks his arms behind his back like he is wearing a tuxedo and listening intently - or like he is sitting down on his own ARMBUTTBENCH - then he wants to run around things like - run up your monitor sideways and when he gets to the top he stops and jumps over your keyboard in slow motion and then he has seen enough of this desk and he wants to go outside and run on top of cars and turn into a 4 legged dog and pee on stuff and sniff it and howl and turn back into a 3 armed man, right.?... So, ok, well, what would be a good equation to figure out how many miles he has gone?