Top 5 Tour Lists

Midwest Beat and Night Light Comics tour came to an end yesterday. It was incredible, it was amazing, it was hilarious, it was delicious, it was stinky and comfy and the reverse of those too. There were only 2 noteworthy problems, 1- the radio was being a little fucker and 2- the lighter outlet ceased to work after 100 miles thus eliminating the power source for all of our cell phones and the gps. Other than that, we got along great, made it everywhere we needed to be on time, and found interesting ways to spend our time in an old fashion journey with an atlas dictation by J-man's many personalities inside a 1994 astro van named "Clambridge."

Top 5 Foods

5) El Charro - Chicago - Pollo Burrito

4) O Betty's - Athens - Dixie Hubba Hubba and Cheese fries.

3) Bagel Store - Brooklyn - Bagels (Various)

2) Gooskies - Pittsburg - Perogies

1) Danny and Lauren's house - Brooklyn - Huge vegan grill out, the works

Top 5 Inside Jokes

5) The Toy Whistle

4) Never thought I'd be on a boat

3) "(hey!) Let Me sleep at yr house" new hip hop jam

2)

M-ustard re-filler

E-eyes are nice / E-verything

G-ee, we think you're swell

A-rtist(?)

N-ever ugly

1) Navigation and overall commentary provided by Chief Goldenshower_69, Sean Connery, Christopher Walken, and the old nerdy strip club owner with a terrible sinus infection.

Top 5 favorite places to drink

5) Gooskies - awesome and charming dive bar.

4) Prophets Rock, cold one on a hot day, best.

3) Plough and Stars, Cambridge Mass- totally cool place right around the corner from where Ben Stiller grew up.

2) Drunk Boat aka Staten Island Ferry

1) Beauty Bar, Manhatten. Seriously Free drinks all night in this city? Hanging with humble celebs? Hell YEAH! Amazing bar. Great folks there.

Top 5 Extra curricular activities

5) Driving Gary's 1977 Corvette down the highway

4) The Beach in Rhode Island

3) Prophet's Rock day trip

2) Going through NYC with Danny

1) The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Top 5 Exhibits at the Met

5) a Self portrait of Piccaso getting a blowjob

4) The gigantic sculpture of the guy in Dante's inferno who is condemned starvation and his kids are there saying that he could eat them - oh man his toes. Crazy

3) The world's largest freestanding instrument gourd drum thing that sends low frequency sounds waves across the oceans from Polynesian island to island.

2) Replica rooms and gardens of Pompeii pre-Vesuvius.

1) KING TUT"S FUNERAL BY A MILLION MILES!!!!!!!

Top 5 awesome things about King Tut's funeral exhibit

5) The incredible details and color preservation on every sarcophagus

4) They carefully dismantled a temple all the way from Egypt, brought it to the New York, and precisely set it up again. In the museum! Out of this world! - there is ancient graffiti carved into the rock that is in times new roman font- graffiti, carved in times new roman! "B I L L Y W A S H E R E MDCLXXVII"

3) The Floral collars worn at the funeral. Adorned with Leaves of olive and persea trees, lotus pedals and blossoms, bright flowers and berries for beads. It still seemed alive after all these years. I just wanted to open the glass and smell it. I want to make one to wear at the next Elephant Walk show.

2) This one little blue statue I was fond of.

1) the Book of the dead recited at the ceremony with tons of spells to aid the soul in the afterlife like the one protecting the deceased from having crocodiles attack his soul and the details involved in that terrible scenario.

Top 5 favorite spells from the Egyptian Book of the Dead

5)

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top highlight: spending time with my family and friends